New Moon in Aquarius- Envisioning a New Reality

New moon is in Aquarius, at 19 degrees, this morning on February 8th, 2016. To understand what this new moon signifies, let’s examine the symbol of Aquarius. Aquarius energy is about group consciousness. The invisible network of humanity that contains its own mind, its own consciousness. Like comparing the vast network that is our brain, all the little connections that our brain cells make to one another, the group mind operates in a similar fashion, us humans acting like little brain cells for the collective mind that is humanity or perhaps even life itself.

Aquarius is generally represented as the rebel, activist, and the one who electrifies and shakes up the status quo. I think if we look deeper we begin to realize that even though it may look like Aquarians like to bend and break the rules, they are really adhering to a greater rule book, tapping into the collective needs, understanding the subtle strands that interweave, helping maintain the health of an organism of which we as individuals make up its individual parts.

With this new moon being squared by Mars in Scorpio, we are being faced with the unconscious or fearful ways in which we act to separate ourselves from the group, like rebel cells causing mayhem in the body. For various reasons, fear of not being accepted, judgement of other individuals, not wanting to conform, not wanting to be lost in the masses and becoming a blind sheep with all autonomy and uniqueness swallowed up, hatred of self, projected onto humanity, “I hate everyone, I’d do better without anyone”. Aquarius is about the uniqueness of the individual, but in the sense of playing a distinctive part that benefits the whole. I think too often, we reject our eccentricities and thus our gifts, we want to be different because we want to be remembered and known as someone special, but we silently scorn the weirdness in others, because we fear that there is not space for our strangeness, our individual vision.

This Aquarius new moon marks a cycle in which we are re-remembering that our individual visions is what is needed to dream this world into being. We have been too busy, rejecting what is wrong with the world. This new moon heralds a shift of perspective, with Mars in Scorpio giving us a chance to now focus on what we as separate beings really desire, for each of us to spend the time imagining and feeling into what it is we desire, could be an image, a scene, lifestyle, emotion, in order to create a collective vision that works for all. Take the time to draw, write, and/or contemplate what you really want out of life. With Aquarius traditional ruler, Saturn in Sagittarius, it is important to bring consciousness to the way we allow so called realities, rules, and beliefs we’ve internalized about “how the world works” and about ourselves, to hold back our imagination of what is possible and what we could possible conceive into being. Thinking I would need, x y and need to be z in order to get what I want, how do we know that has to be true, just because that’s how the world has operated in the past or people perpetuate that reality, does not mean it must be so. Let yourself envision a reality beyond what you’ve ever dared allowed yourself to hope was possible, only then do we have the chance to create a new world that can more readily value our individual visions, as it is up to each of us to value the importance of our own deepest longings and visions for all.

Soft as Stone

The desert holds wisdom that is timeless and universal. While in Joshua Tree National Forest, it offered me a bit of its knowledge for my own journey. In my Natal Chart, I have Capricorn (the stoic mountain goat) in the 7th house (of relation), needless to say, relationships seem to hold my greatest lessons and hardest challenges, right in alignment for a goat, a symbol of persistent hard work in order to reach the height of accomplishment. The stark land of the desert with its rocky landscape seems to have much symbolic resonance with this zodiacal image of persistent earth.

I used to think I didn’t need anyone, I would tell myself anyway. I had hardened myself off, build a tower around me, and sat inside, alone, isolated in my despair, afraid to make myself vulnerable, and let other people affect me. But as I began to let those walls crumble, admitting to myself and others, that people had an impact on me, I also began to realize how needy I really was, how I desired to bring others into my tower without truly stepping out with my whole being and light. An embrace that holds another so tightly that they disappear or a tower so high that I do. One and the same it seems. Either I disappear to the world, or the world disappears into my hunger for love, devoured in desperation.

This is what the rocks and the desert teach me. Alone within the world, build to last, as old as the earth itself, rocks are eroded, chipped away, slowly over the course of eternity only by water and wind. Each cacti, shrub, tree, etched in place, seeming alone and struggling for life, hardened by the heat and the dryness into a timeless existence.

The rocky desert teach me that hardiness is built over time, where self-built towers are as soft as sand castles swept away in the next tide but true hardiness lets the elements of sun and rain and wind continuously reshape its form.

I will most likely face betrayal, disappointment, rejection, pain, sorrow, and loss throughout my life, through relationships. But will I let those experiences shape me, chipping away at my fears and attachments, softened by the weather or will I stay alone in my tower, brittle and untouched?

No More

For all the beautiful hearts out there,
never let your light go out,
never be less than who you are.

I hate to make you leave,
but you pushed me away.
To afraid to untangle,
the bonds that keep you bound.
To afraid to love me.

I am easy to love,
just call me yours,
and I will melt into the air,
kissing the sky with your words.

I hate to leave,
but if I stay,
I will slowly crumble
until all that is me
has turned to dust,
swept easily into the snow.

I am only a girl
with a heart as big as the world,
who lost her way
when she believed she was no good.

I hate to say “I told you so”
that morning, many mornings ago.
That crisp and icy morning
when you professed to me,
how you could never love another,
as your heart showed me
a different story.

I am alone again,
no more than the stars though,
no more than the ocean at night
under the moons loving light.

Lunar Eclipse: As Within so Without

Sunday at 10:47PM Eastern time, there will be a full Lunar Eclipse visible in the sky. The moon will be at 5 degrees Aries and the Sun at 5 degrees Libra. This Lunar Eclipse is revealing the outcome of the Solar Eclipse we experienced two weeks ago. However while the new moon began in Virgo, this full moon takes place in Libra/Aries. The extent to which we allow ourselves to examine our flaws and discover the divinity within the cracks of imperfection, has a part to play in the influence of this Lunar Eclipse. Simply put, this axis is about self versus other, the extent we act for self preservation and caring for our own needs, and highlighting our ability to meet another person and see in their desires, our own forgotten ones. The sun in Libra is illuminating the importance of developing fairness in relationship, the compromise of give and take, even the inner struggle of contradictions. Finding a place for opposites to co-exist in balanced harmony.

A time the moon has the most light, it will become dark, the earth will be between these luminaries and we will be in the center of this opposition, momentarily cutting the light of the sun off from the moon. Our habitual ways of letting our life force make its thrust outward, will be examined in the light of the ways that can stifle someone else’s self expression. To allow frustration of feeling impeded, allow us to not see that conflict arises when both parties are not getting what they need. To find a way of fighting for your own needs that doesn’t trample others needs, but includes them. A more encompassing development of selfhood that includes our opposites, be it people or bits of ourselves that we deem flawed and unacceptable for society.

Each degree of the Zodiac has a Sabian Symbol, an image that describes the quality of that degree. The moon is at 5 degrees Aries and the symbol is “A triangle with wings”. Quite a fitting image for a Lunar Eclipse. This image is revealing an added complexity to the normal contradictions and unification of opposites. By revealing a third element that transcends contradictions, allows us to witness the duality of self/other, from outside of our immediate experience of it. In this eclipse, the earth is standing in-between the sun and the moon, becoming the third element, point on the triangle, so to speak, that shows our very human capacity to find improbable solutions to seemingly impossible problems, to come to the irrational discovery of truly asserting “ourselves” back into the equation of human interactions, in order to lift us up into more fully developed beautiful relationships. We are getting a glimpse of how the opposition of self and other, within and without, are really reflections of one another. The harmony will come when we are able to glimpse the ways in which we deny others anger in fear of our own, discovering that balance ultimately comes, not from depending on people to fulfill our every desire, but from allowing ourselves to witness and accept our own self contradictions, thus awakening our inner unity. Higher self does not mean better self, but a self that realizes how we relate to people is truly a mirror of our own inner dynamics and owning all the parts of ourselves is what will allow us to truly fly.

Saturn in Sagittarius: Chains of Freedom

Saturn moved into Sagittarius on the 18th of September, finally leaving Scorpio’s domain where it had been residing for most of the past 3 years. This summer has been filled with our fears, their ghosts let out into our world, to destroy our past in order to move forward, cutting away old relationships, outdated modes of being. Even though this Summer has been quite painful and difficult, the grief of losing what we thought we couldn’t live without, a process like a snake shedding skin, has cleared the way to take a new direction into the future. With our luggage discarded, we have the momentum and freedom to carry forward into new themes. These next two years will contain the themes of hard lessons around how we curtail our freedom, and how our fear of being tied down, contain its own chains. Through trial and error we will discover how to bring an adventurous spirit back into our lives. We will find new meaning. Instead of containing visions for our future in our minds, living our visions in our head, wishing the future were here now; we will discover that doing the real work of manifesting our dreams now, of slowly bringing the desired change and expansive living into our lives, will allow us to align with our goals in a reality based way. This time will cut away at the limits of our fantasies, of what we are actually capable of creating, ensuring that our ideals remain based in reality and really focusing ourselves on the dreams that are actually able to come into fruition. But this process won’t be easy, we will be asked to let some dreams go, and it will feel like some are forcefully ripped away from us. But the cold harshness of what we are capable of accomplishing on this earth, will finally allow us to see what dreams we can truly bring alive.

Saturn is our teacher, the kind that shows us what we would rather not see, that forces us out of denial, unveiling what is real and what is outdated. He guards the threshold of any kind of lasting change. We must go through him in order to fully experience this transition. He shows us our fear of change, and in order to gain his delicious fruits of accomplishment, we must face that fear. We tend to fear Saturn because we have forgotten the natural place of death in our lives, we fear him because we externalize him through our parents, leaders, teachers, laws, regulations, societal dictates, and we forget that ultimately we are responsible for our own lives, we are our own authority and the decisions we make are ours.

Saturn is usually seen as a problem, a place of lack in our lives, a burden, weight, but it is his limits that are showing us what is actually possible. Saturn doesn’t make things easy, but by cutting away at excess, does allow us to work with him, by finding our focus and resolve, in order to grow and nurture something truly meaningful and lasting in our lives.

Mercury Retrogrades in Libra: Light as a Feather

Mercury has turned retrograde in Libra. It is time to find a more authentic expression of relationship, to reconsider how we use our voice. Libra is the sign of the scales, it is about balance, the balance of our heart with objective truth. Imagine the image of a heart being weighed against a feather, which the Egyptians believed at the time of death was the ultimate test of a life worthy of eternal afterlife or utter nonexistence. Allow yourself to feel the cold harsh judgement of such a test, and then take it in, internalize it. How do we constantly weigh our own actions against our own potential? Where do we search for the balance of attachment versus flight, the desire to maintain relation and forge a bond with someone or something, and our desire to be free?

Now to come back at the image, and to really look at the weighing process; what makes a heart heavier than a feather, is it the way we sadden our hearts with denial of its desires? Think of the feeling of following your passions, how it feels like you can soar and reach great heights of ecstasy and love. But also the scales our external, our hearts against a feather, perhaps the judgement is examining how we deny our love to the world (not following our passions is denying our heart to the world), we hold it in closely, protecting it, fearing heartbreak and vulnerability. All that non-communicated love, weighing down the scales, love that is meant to be shared.

Mercury begins to move backwards in Libra and we wonder, what messages can we tune into right now about the ways we are out of balance? How can a deeper understanding of the voice of our heart help us heal our relationships? This is a time in which we can move beyond the mind’s understanding of the heart; to really heeding its voice, allowing it to show us a path to lightheartedness.

What does it mean for a heart to be out of balance with a feather, for love and truth to not be equally maintained? Allowing love of power to overwhelm right action, to lie and cheat to gain the pleasure of material goods, to hide our true nature in order to maintain an illusion. This retrograde is a time of reevaluating our judgments around relationships, to find the true judge that exposes our hearts to the eagle eye of authentic discourse, where truth is in the value found within the relationship. Ultimately the judge is the space between you and me, and the judgement is the ability for us to maintain a true relationship that allows for love, pain, joy, grief, and an honest look at the integrity of our hearts. For if the relationship doesn’t lift both people up and nourish each other, but drags and pulls one down instead, then the judgement is seen in the heavy discord of an imbalanced connection. However ultimately the balance must come from within, by allowing equal consideration of our own needs and the need to keep integrity; meaning to not let the sometimes desperate hunger to be loved and feel secure, allow us to lie or guilt another into feeding that hunger, but to find an honest way to communicate our heart’s desires.

Virgo’s Eclipse: A Flawed Divinity

I’ve been noticing a consistent pattern, as I’ve been reading astrological forecasts on this month’s partial solar eclipse in Virgo, for Sunday the 13th of September. The tossing around of the word healing, and a general tone of upbeat positivism. Stating that this is a time of tremendous potential for healing and breaking away of old karma, etc. Not to dismiss what others are saying, but I just want to keep in mind that always focusing on the light, and the lifting up of oneself towards healing, happiness, while not bad, is not always honoring the deeper states and desires of the soul. A focus on healing oneself is one of the most important goals of a lifetime, I believe, but I think we forget that deep healing isn’t a simple practice of mending broken bones, but of finding the courage to really take a deep look at one’s own flaws. As Saturn makes the final transition out of Scorpio within a week, we are given a final chance to really reclaim our power, by snatching back our shadows left to wander the world and create havoc without our awareness. With Jupiter in Virgo opposing Neptune in Pisces, we are being shown a new perspective on our failures, the potential within our imperfections, the joy of dedicating ourselves to our own path of inner healing, no matter how disillusioned we might become, no matter how easy it might be at times to fall back into our own victim mentality that the world is out to get us and we are helpless.

No matter how tightly woven into a pattern it feels like, our soul knows the way through. If we can learn to understand its language, we can break free. This solar eclipse in Virgo is offering us a fresh start, the moon representing our habitual self, and being so strongly illuminated by the sun to the point of partial eclipsing, we are getting a glimpse of how we entangle ourselves in a web of self-doubt and criticism. We forget that our desire to attain perfection, stems from a desire to become closer to soul, to experience the sacred in the everyday, to embody our greatest potential. With Chiron, an asteroid that represents our vulnerabilities (among other things), opposing this new moon, we are encountering the ways in which we feel estranged from soul, from sacred experience. By revealing to us our fears of imperfection and of not feeling worthy of divinity, we can truly begin the healing process of moving closer to soulful communion.

However, Uranus in Aries will be in difficult aspect to the Solar Eclipse, warning us of a tendency to act impulsively, to start havoc in order to avoid the potential change of actually dedicating oneself to the process of real inner growth. We need to learn to discriminate between when quick change is actually needed in order to tear us from the compulsive and over analytical nature of Virgo, and when we are just hurling bolts out of anger and frustration.