Full Moon in Scorpio: The Seed

I’ve been meditating on my body, bringing attention to places long swept away and discarded. In particular I have been getting in touch with the tension and tightness in my shoulders and upper arms. I try to push through it and they tighten up more, I accept it and the pain gets louder, like that area is breaching a wall and cannot push past. So as I breathe in I imagine and feel that I am breathing in spirit, light, fire, and as I breathe out, I maintain that lightness and feel it expand, past the point of comfort, not pushing but allowing more than me, lightness of me, to move beyond the boundary of skin, bringing my spirit into my body, like a hand inserting itself in a flat glove.

Then I thought about a seed and how it must feel like to be a seed, cracking open to become itself and that’s what I feel like right now in my body, pushing against my own walls, feeling constrained by the tightness of my own form. I have been planting a bunch of flats of lettuce and other vegetables, and its so exciting to see the little seeds germinating, tiny green tongues sticking out at me from the rows of dirt filled cells. It brought to mind the Zodiac signs of Taurus/Scorpio and with a start realized, the upcoming full moon will be in Scorpio on the 22nd of April. To imagine Taurus as a symbol of the shell of a seed, the form, encasing life, durable and hardy, cozy in the rich soul. While Scorpio as a symbol for the inside of the shell, desire for growth pushing at the shell, the soil pushing inwards, the feeling of constraint, tightness from all sides, hopelessly trapped, no where to go but up and out. Only way is to push beyond itself, to move beyond the form of seed, to TRANS-FORM, by pushing beyond its walls, cracking open itself to become more than seed and flourish. To expand and be bigger than the physical form, its spirit wanting to stretch and move, to twine and tangle, crawling reaching, flying towards the sun, heaven, and beyond.

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Lunar Eclipse in Libra: I am You!

 

Lunar Eclipse in Libra for March 23rd 2016

Honestly I don’t feel like I know what this stuff means most the time. Maybe I’ll capture little glimmers of truth nuggets that resonate to the current astrological atmosphere, but symbols are archetypal which means they possess infinite potential meanings, as long as those meanings resonate with the energy of that symbol. So I’m going to attempt to free my critic for a little while and see what I can access by playing around with the energies activated for this Lunar Eclipse.

The moon is in Libra being eclipsed by Sun in Aries, which means the normal way of viewing others is temporarily eclipsed to show our true face as only one self. Everyone around us as merely mirrors to reflect back who we really are as One-Self. To play out itself through infinite characters in order to know our-self better, to have something to relate to outside our-self, to play out this complex beautiful painful adventure, all to experience love in its vicissitude of ways. The moon in Libra feels at home when it finds love reflected back to it in the eyes of another. This eclipse is about finding the courage to know who we truly are, without mirrors to define us. To seek out and know our true self that holds value just for being a witness of the tremendous life unfolding before us. To truly love one another, we must know what is worth loving and who we are loving. If we project our need for love unto those around us, where we desire nurturance of belonging, we get instead an insatiable hunger that fuels compulsion and addiction, spreading pain instead of love. To love another we must love ourselves and to love our-self is to love all selves.

Solar Eclipse: Cracks in the Light

The Solar Eclipse for March 8th 2016, occurs at 19 degrees Pisces. There is so much activity in the chart of the Solar Eclipse that when I attempted to grasp onto its theme I would find myself lost in a chaotic mess of archetypes, all clamoring to have their voices heard. But I kept being led back to a particular part of the chart, like it was the central leading character of the story. So to unravel the thread of this Solar Eclipse, I will begin with the planet that is in direct opposition, Jupiter in Virgo. Jupiter is eternal spirit, transcendental knowledge, expansive nature, the buoyancy of leaves swirling in air, the ecstasy of our divine nature. But in our human forms, in attempts to experience bliss of spirit, this archetype also leads to excess, overindulgence, seeking of pleasure through merely our senses in an attempt to get to the pure ecstasy of our essential spiritual nature. Jupiter as a figure is found in God, Krishna, Buddha, a King, a Guru, a Spiritual Leader. We worship those figures because we long to be close to eternal spirit, so perfect, so beautiful, the lightness of being, and the joy of eternal existence.

In every astrology chart, there are two nodes, south and north, that represent the places where eclipses occur. This solar eclipse occurs on the south node, which represents past karma or the habitual patterns of being. So Jupiter in opposition to the solar eclipse is conjoined with the north node in Virgo. The north node acts as the place where the soul wants to grow towards, experience new territory. Jupiter is what the soul wants, so to speak. However, spirituality is everywhere, from eastern philosophies to new age movements to Kirtan, to ecstatic dance, even religion, what else could soul want?

This is where it gets interesting, Jupiter is not only opposite the Solar Eclipse in its ruling sign of Pisces, but squaring Saturn in its ruling sign, Sagittarius. Another way to say this, is that Jupiter is not so comfortable in Virgo, and the signs he feels most at home in, he is now at odds with. Virgo is the mundane world, the nitty gritty aspects of daily life. Virgo is about mastery in the physical world through discrimination. Discerning what is healthiest, most beautiful, and orderly, in an attempt to perfect our world, home, bodies. The Virgo’s refined taste comes from its eye for the so called flaws. To truly find perfection in a fundamentally flawed existence of physicality, is to accept the imperfections. To quote Leonard Cohen, “there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” Isn’t that so perfect for Jupiter in Virgo, to bring the human back into the divine, to see our beautiful spirits through our human flaws instead of trying to rise above our imperfections. Jupiter in Virgo is revealing the cracks in what appears to be the flawless nature of the divine. Saturn in Sagittarius in square to Jupiter is showing us the difficulty of spirit when it tries to rise above our humanity, how it can be judgmental, forever deeming our human nature as inferior, to its perfect nature as the ultimate truth of existence. Jupiter in Virgo is the embodiment of spirit, the earthly priestesses, the rhythm of the seasons, and the natural law of earth.

So the Solar Eclipse in Pisces is conjoined Chiron, the wounded healer. It is the sun that is being eclipsed, the sun as the masculine principle of expression, hierarchy, transcendence, unification. It is like the old king is dying, the masculine understanding of divine nature that can only operate in unity or separation, our conscious nature that is striving, trying to attain, reach for the goal of liberation. Awareness that creates an ego in which to know and create itself, and fulfill its purpose. But this Sun understanding of our spiritual natures, has kept us divided from our human selves and ultimately from the deeper desires of our souls to have a human experience. The moon is eclipsing the sun, this old king is dying and being reborn in the womb of our imagination. To bring back the feminine principle of relating, of bridging the physical/spiritual instead of deeming one bad or worse than the other, of being receptive to our body’s wisdom, our emotional reactions. To show us that our insatiable appetite for spirit can only be quenched when we stop desiring pleasure and learn how to actually receive the pleasure of complete presence of spirit in every moment, every experience, in all the waves of movement. To let go of the old wounds of the split of feminine/masculine, body and spirit, and to create the new dream of finding connections in aspects of our lives that may seem at odds or opposing. To seek to understand and relate to the tensions in our lives and in ourselves, instead of dismissing one for the other.

This Solar eclipse will create a moment where the light will be completely shadowed by the moon, creating a dark void that will create a doorway for a mystical lunar energy. An energy that will change the very relationship to our soul if are able to stare into the face of some of humanity’s greatest wounds towards the feminine nature, a nature that desires the marriage of spirit and body, conscious and unconscious, mind and feelings, interconnectivity instead of transcendence, to know we are enough for just existing as divine beings, instead of needing to prove ourselves through achievement, talent, service, sacrifice.

I will end with a beautiful quote by Milan Kundera from the Unbearable Lightness of Being:

The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life’s most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become. Conversely, the absolute absence of burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant. What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?

Sun Passes by Neptune Poem

I have no beginning or end,
I exist only now,
but now is all time,
held within absolute awareness.

To stretch a moment out
until the ocean of existence
is contained within it.
To feel eternity of self in but a second.

I do not depend upon
time’s stream to move about,
as all experiences are but interwoven layers
permeating the now.

I reveal the illusion of death
perceived through time’s movement.
Though every second is
an act of creation/destruction.
This divine play is but a repetition
of building anew from the shattered tower of
previous enactments.

Virgo Full Moon: Untangling the Inner Web

On February 22nd, 2016, the moon will be full in Virgo. To understand Virgo’s full moon, the reflected light of the sun in Pisces should be more carefully examined. I keep reading about Pisces as a sign of a state of blissful oneness, which I feel does not do justice to this sign at all. Where Virgo makes up the mundane world, Pisces is all that is invisible. As complex and varied as the visible, just not perceived with the senses. Because the invisible world has no “solid” boundaries, it could be easy to lose one’s separate sense of identity in such a place, but that doesn’t make such a reality a massive blob of oneness and unity. In reality it pertains to an infinite place of inner worlds, dreams, feelings, intuition, ghostly presences, mystical experiences, archetypal reality, images, symbols, etc. This particular sun will be conjunct Neptune in Pisces as well, adding potential confusion to who’s what in this imaginal landscape, perhaps getting caught in the web of someone else’s dream. Your understanding of reality, a potential labyrinth of fear and ghostly regrets, instead of the kind of world you might imagine you should be living in.

The moon is about our inner reactions to external happenings. So this Virgo full moon is highlighting the tangled confusion of each individual’s inner reality, which has muddled our ability to be able to carefully discriminate between fantasy and the imaginal reality of the soul. How often do we feel like we are only really living in a movie of our own making, everyone else cast as supporting actors, like our nightly dreams where everything is just an extension of our own psyche. With the light of this moon emanating from the opposition of a Neptune/Sun conjunction, it is an opportunity to use a Virgo-like eye of seeing how everything has its right place, in order to tug apart the ways we have allowed our psychic realities to become entangled with one another, allowing other people to act out our own internal stories and us to act out theirs. Now we are being called to acknowledge all our own characters, judge, victim, hero, lover, critic, nurturer, aggressor, coward, rejected shadow, wounded child, etc. in order to really understand what we are reacting to, and to discover just how much the external world is really the cause of our inner landscape, or how it is a shared place to truly connect with other souls and their psychic reality.

New Moon in Aquarius- Envisioning a New Reality

New moon is in Aquarius, at 19 degrees, this morning on February 8th, 2016. To understand what this new moon signifies, let’s examine the symbol of Aquarius. Aquarius energy is about group consciousness. The invisible network of humanity that contains its own mind, its own consciousness. Like comparing the vast network that is our brain, all the little connections that our brain cells make to one another, the group mind operates in a similar fashion, us humans acting like little brain cells for the collective mind that is humanity or perhaps even life itself.

Aquarius is generally represented as the rebel, activist, and the one who electrifies and shakes up the status quo. I think if we look deeper we begin to realize that even though it may look like Aquarians like to bend and break the rules, they are really adhering to a greater rule book, tapping into the collective needs, understanding the subtle strands that interweave, helping maintain the health of an organism of which we as individuals make up its individual parts.

With this new moon being squared by Mars in Scorpio, we are being faced with the unconscious or fearful ways in which we act to separate ourselves from the group, like rebel cells causing mayhem in the body. For various reasons, fear of not being accepted, judgement of other individuals, not wanting to conform, not wanting to be lost in the masses and becoming a blind sheep with all autonomy and uniqueness swallowed up, hatred of self, projected onto humanity, “I hate everyone, I’d do better without anyone”. Aquarius is about the uniqueness of the individual, but in the sense of playing a distinctive part that benefits the whole. I think too often, we reject our eccentricities and thus our gifts, we want to be different because we want to be remembered and known as someone special, but we silently scorn the weirdness in others, because we fear that there is not space for our strangeness, our individual vision.

This Aquarius new moon marks a cycle in which we are re-remembering that our individual visions is what is needed to dream this world into being. We have been too busy, rejecting what is wrong with the world. This new moon heralds a shift of perspective, with Mars in Scorpio giving us a chance to now focus on what we as separate beings really desire, for each of us to spend the time imagining and feeling into what it is we desire, could be an image, a scene, lifestyle, emotion, in order to create a collective vision that works for all. Take the time to draw, write, and/or contemplate what you really want out of life. With Aquarius traditional ruler, Saturn in Sagittarius, it is important to bring consciousness to the way we allow so called realities, rules, and beliefs we’ve internalized about “how the world works” and about ourselves, to hold back our imagination of what is possible and what we could possible conceive into being. Thinking I would need, x y and need to be z in order to get what I want, how do we know that has to be true, just because that’s how the world has operated in the past or people perpetuate that reality, does not mean it must be so. Let yourself envision a reality beyond what you’ve ever dared allowed yourself to hope was possible, only then do we have the chance to create a new world that can more readily value our individual visions, as it is up to each of us to value the importance of our own deepest longings and visions for all.

Soft as Stone

The desert holds wisdom that is timeless and universal. While in Joshua Tree National Forest, it offered me a bit of its knowledge for my own journey. In my Natal Chart, I have Capricorn (the stoic mountain goat) in the 7th house (of relation), needless to say, relationships seem to hold my greatest lessons and hardest challenges, right in alignment for a goat, a symbol of persistent hard work in order to reach the height of accomplishment. The stark land of the desert with its rocky landscape seems to have much symbolic resonance with this zodiacal image of persistent earth.

I used to think I didn’t need anyone, I would tell myself anyway. I had hardened myself off, build a tower around me, and sat inside, alone, isolated in my despair, afraid to make myself vulnerable, and let other people affect me. But as I began to let those walls crumble, admitting to myself and others, that people had an impact on me, I also began to realize how needy I really was, how I desired to bring others into my tower without truly stepping out with my whole being and light. An embrace that holds another so tightly that they disappear or a tower so high that I do. One and the same it seems. Either I disappear to the world, or the world disappears into my hunger for love, devoured in desperation.

This is what the rocks and the desert teach me. Alone within the world, build to last, as old as the earth itself, rocks are eroded, chipped away, slowly over the course of eternity only by water and wind. Each cacti, shrub, tree, etched in place, seeming alone and struggling for life, hardened by the heat and the dryness into a timeless existence.

The rocky desert teach me that hardiness is built over time, where self-built towers are as soft as sand castles swept away in the next tide but true hardiness lets the elements of sun and rain and wind continuously reshape its form.

I will most likely face betrayal, disappointment, rejection, pain, sorrow, and loss throughout my life, through relationships. But will I let those experiences shape me, chipping away at my fears and attachments, softened by the weather or will I stay alone in my tower, brittle and untouched?