I’ve been meditating on my body, bringing attention to places long swept away and discarded. In particular I have been getting in touch with the tension and tightness in my shoulders and upper arms. I try to push through it and they tighten up more, I accept it and the pain gets louder, like that area is breaching a wall and cannot push past. So as I breathe in I imagine and feel that I am breathing in spirit, light, fire, and as I breathe out, I maintain that lightness and feel it expand, past the point of comfort, not pushing but allowing more than me, lightness of me, to move beyond the boundary of skin, bringing my spirit into my body, like a hand inserting itself in a flat glove.
Then I thought about a seed and how it must feel like to be a seed, cracking open to become itself and that’s what I feel like right now in my body, pushing against my own walls, feeling constrained by the tightness of my own form. I have been planting a bunch of flats of lettuce and other vegetables, and its so exciting to see the little seeds germinating, tiny green tongues sticking out at me from the rows of dirt filled cells. It brought to mind the Zodiac signs of Taurus/Scorpio and with a start realized, the upcoming full moon will be in Scorpio on the 22nd of April. To imagine Taurus as a symbol of the shell of a seed, the form, encasing life, durable and hardy, cozy in the rich soul. While Scorpio as a symbol for the inside of the shell, desire for growth pushing at the shell, the soil pushing inwards, the feeling of constraint, tightness from all sides, hopelessly trapped, no where to go but up and out. Only way is to push beyond itself, to move beyond the form of seed, to TRANS-FORM, by pushing beyond its walls, cracking open itself to become more than seed and flourish. To expand and be bigger than the physical form, its spirit wanting to stretch and move, to twine and tangle, crawling reaching, flying towards the sun, heaven, and beyond.