Cure for Your Loneliness

I am not a cure for your loneliness.
I can hold your hand, look in your eyes,
and let you know it won’t last forever.
But don’t try to drink me like medicine,
for when I run dry
you’ll toss me away,
looking always looking for a cure.

Don’t you see me,
really see me?
No, how could you,
you don’t even see yourself.
A mirror for your despair.
For you were shown,
in so many ways
that so much of you was unlovable,
not good enough, too rough, wild, impure, dangerous.

To squeeze into a box of acceptable,
you had to chop away at the “bad” bits,
just so someone would finally hold you, rock you,
show you in so many ways
how beautiful, how good, how much love you are.

But forever hungry,
a compulsive lover,
a hopeless romantic,
addicted to love, thrills, sex, drugs.
Make me high, fly me to the moon,
just take away the pain of loneliness.

How can I when it is you, not I,
that chopped yourself to bits.
If you really want to know about loneliness,
ask those parts,
they hold your pain,
and the loneliness is their voice
calling out for your love.

Sun Passes by Neptune Poem

I have no beginning or end,
I exist only now,
but now is all time,
held within absolute awareness.

To stretch a moment out
until the ocean of existence
is contained within it.
To feel eternity of self in but a second.

I do not depend upon
time’s stream to move about,
as all experiences are but interwoven layers
permeating the now.

I reveal the illusion of death
perceived through time’s movement.
Though every second is
an act of creation/destruction.
This divine play is but a repetition
of building anew from the shattered tower of
previous enactments.

Virgo Full Moon: Untangling the Inner Web

On February 22nd, 2016, the moon will be full in Virgo. To understand Virgo’s full moon, the reflected light of the sun in Pisces should be more carefully examined. I keep reading about Pisces as a sign of a state of blissful oneness, which I feel does not do justice to this sign at all. Where Virgo makes up the mundane world, Pisces is all that is invisible. As complex and varied as the visible, just not perceived with the senses. Because the invisible world has no “solid” boundaries, it could be easy to lose one’s separate sense of identity in such a place, but that doesn’t make such a reality a massive blob of oneness and unity. In reality it pertains to an infinite place of inner worlds, dreams, feelings, intuition, ghostly presences, mystical experiences, archetypal reality, images, symbols, etc. This particular sun will be conjunct Neptune in Pisces as well, adding potential confusion to who’s what in this imaginal landscape, perhaps getting caught in the web of someone else’s dream. Your understanding of reality, a potential labyrinth of fear and ghostly regrets, instead of the kind of world you might imagine you should be living in.

The moon is about our inner reactions to external happenings. So this Virgo full moon is highlighting the tangled confusion of each individual’s inner reality, which has muddled our ability to be able to carefully discriminate between fantasy and the imaginal reality of the soul. How often do we feel like we are only really living in a movie of our own making, everyone else cast as supporting actors, like our nightly dreams where everything is just an extension of our own psyche. With the light of this moon emanating from the opposition of a Neptune/Sun conjunction, it is an opportunity to use a Virgo-like eye of seeing how everything has its right place, in order to tug apart the ways we have allowed our psychic realities to become entangled with one another, allowing other people to act out our own internal stories and us to act out theirs. Now we are being called to acknowledge all our own characters, judge, victim, hero, lover, critic, nurturer, aggressor, coward, rejected shadow, wounded child, etc. in order to really understand what we are reacting to, and to discover just how much the external world is really the cause of our inner landscape, or how it is a shared place to truly connect with other souls and their psychic reality.

New Moon in Aquarius- Envisioning a New Reality

New moon is in Aquarius, at 19 degrees, this morning on February 8th, 2016. To understand what this new moon signifies, let’s examine the symbol of Aquarius. Aquarius energy is about group consciousness. The invisible network of humanity that contains its own mind, its own consciousness. Like comparing the vast network that is our brain, all the little connections that our brain cells make to one another, the group mind operates in a similar fashion, us humans acting like little brain cells for the collective mind that is humanity or perhaps even life itself.

Aquarius is generally represented as the rebel, activist, and the one who electrifies and shakes up the status quo. I think if we look deeper we begin to realize that even though it may look like Aquarians like to bend and break the rules, they are really adhering to a greater rule book, tapping into the collective needs, understanding the subtle strands that interweave, helping maintain the health of an organism of which we as individuals make up its individual parts.

With this new moon being squared by Mars in Scorpio, we are being faced with the unconscious or fearful ways in which we act to separate ourselves from the group, like rebel cells causing mayhem in the body. For various reasons, fear of not being accepted, judgement of other individuals, not wanting to conform, not wanting to be lost in the masses and becoming a blind sheep with all autonomy and uniqueness swallowed up, hatred of self, projected onto humanity, “I hate everyone, I’d do better without anyone”. Aquarius is about the uniqueness of the individual, but in the sense of playing a distinctive part that benefits the whole. I think too often, we reject our eccentricities and thus our gifts, we want to be different because we want to be remembered and known as someone special, but we silently scorn the weirdness in others, because we fear that there is not space for our strangeness, our individual vision.

This Aquarius new moon marks a cycle in which we are re-remembering that our individual visions is what is needed to dream this world into being. We have been too busy, rejecting what is wrong with the world. This new moon heralds a shift of perspective, with Mars in Scorpio giving us a chance to now focus on what we as separate beings really desire, for each of us to spend the time imagining and feeling into what it is we desire, could be an image, a scene, lifestyle, emotion, in order to create a collective vision that works for all. Take the time to draw, write, and/or contemplate what you really want out of life. With Aquarius traditional ruler, Saturn in Sagittarius, it is important to bring consciousness to the way we allow so called realities, rules, and beliefs we’ve internalized about “how the world works” and about ourselves, to hold back our imagination of what is possible and what we could possible conceive into being. Thinking I would need, x y and need to be z in order to get what I want, how do we know that has to be true, just because that’s how the world has operated in the past or people perpetuate that reality, does not mean it must be so. Let yourself envision a reality beyond what you’ve ever dared allowed yourself to hope was possible, only then do we have the chance to create a new world that can more readily value our individual visions, as it is up to each of us to value the importance of our own deepest longings and visions for all.